![]() ![]() When it’s time to have strap-on sex with a partner, make sure to warm up. Obviously you’re not going to feel every touch against the strap-on like it’s against your own skin, but you can experiment with angles - lower or higher or more direct or more indirect? - and vibration - is a vibrator held against the shaft or base too intense or not intense enough? - in a way that’s harder with a partner. ![]() It’s a good way to get a sense of how it will feel against you, how you’ll feel wearing it during sex, and what kinds of sensations might feel better to you. But you should also try masturbating with the strap-on strapped on. If you haven’t masturbated with just the dildo, trying it inside yourself without a harness before you try it inside of someone else with one is a good way to get a sense of how big it is and what it feels like, and to get over any mental hangups you might have about penetration with it before trying it with a partner. ![]() If you’ve never worn a strap-on before, you might feel weird about your gender or sexuality or body or the impulse decisions that led you to this moment in your life. Let it flop around, wild and silicone and free, until it feels like part of your body. If you plan to pack - to wear the harness with a dildo under your clothes - you’ll eventually want to figure out what clothes work best for that, but don’t do that yet. (Do this with the dildo attached, too - you might find you like the base of the dildo to sit lower or higher against your body, and the only way for sure is to try it in a few different positions.) If your harness is underwear-style, figure out the best way to attach the dildo - can you do it while wearing the harness, or only when you take it off? (Make sure the curve is pointing up.) Like any fashion risk, the best place to first try out a new harness is hanging out in your own space alone. If your harness has straps, put it on and take it off a few times until you know how everything works and have all the buckles adjusted to your body. So how do you actually have strap-on sex? You’ve got an enthusiastic partner or two. The Autostraddle Encyclopedia of Lesbian Cinema.LGBTQ Television Guide: What To Watch Now. ![]()
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